I often wonder how once again I became addicted, powerless...

First time around prescription drugs, this time alchol.

Powerful, baffling...but it took hold of me and wouldn't let go until I surrendered myself.

No intervention needed as not many knew how much I drank alone at home...some times for days not leaving except to buy more and hoping I wouldn't get a DUI while trying..suprised not too lose my job along the way..

Early one morning in a parking lot at the 24 hour Walgreens I realized I needed to get help for real this time, not just calling the crisis center but calling the detox center and checking in...it was only 6am and I was already drunk...shaking, scared and hopeless..

This would be my second time in 3 years going into detox...this time I don't remember much except checking in...and then being transferred out due to my suicidal thoughts, hallucinations...too much librium? Maybe, but I ended up in a psych ward again shaking, scared and alone...